The late Eric Dane revealed previously unknown details about his time on “Grey’s Anatomy” and his personal life in his memoir, “My Book of Days.”
From the real reason his character McSteamy was killed off to a bitter feud with Smashing Pumpkins rocker Billy Corgan, here are some of the book’s biggest revelations.
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Dane revealed that his departure from “Grey’s Anatomy” came down to money, although he acknowledged his struggles with addiction didn’t help.
The actor, who played Dr. Mark Sloan, also known as McSteamy, said creator Shonda Rhimes offered to support him as his prescription painkiller addiction worsened.
“Over the course of the show, I go to rehab five times,” he wrote.
“The reason comes down to money,” Dane wrote of his departure, citing rising production costs and actors’ salaries.
“I have become expendable,” he added.
Dane recalled Rhimes personally informing him that he would not return.
“You’re not coming back,” she told him, according to the memoir.
His character was killed off following a plane crash in the show’s ninth season.
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Dane also revealed that he nearly played McDreamy, losing the role of Dr. Derek Shepherd to Patrick Dempsey.
“He beat me out. He won,” Dane wrote.
When producers later approached him about playing Mark Sloan, Dane initially rejected the smaller role, calling it “a f—ing insult.”
He eventually auditioned after his wife, Rebecca Gayheart, encouraged him to reconsider.
Dane recalled nearly fighting Josh Duhamel while filming a guest appearance on “Las Vegas.”
The actor said he warned Duhamel not to grab his tie during a fight scene because he was suffering from a painful neck injury.
According to Dane, Duhamel agreed but grabbed his tie during three consecutive takes, despite repeated warnings and apologies.
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After the third incident, Dane said he removed his suit jacket, clenched his fists and approached Duhamel.
“Let’s go, you p—y-a– actor,” he recalled saying.
Dane acknowledged that he was the aggressor and said the two actors had since reconciled.
“Josh, I was wrong. I should’ve walked away,” he wrote.
Dane detailed a bitter dispute with Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan after a tree from the musician’s property crashed through his Beverly Hills home, narrowly missing his pregnant wife and young daughter.
The actor said he had asked Corgan to trim the large eucalyptus trees on his neighboring property after receiving warnings from other residents.
In December 2011, a tree crashed through the family’s bedroom roof moments after Gayheart, who was nine months pregnant, had moved their daughter Billie into another room.
The falling tree brought down power lines and triggered the home’s fire sprinklers. Dane said Gayheart grabbed Billie and the family dog, fell down the stairs while trying to escape and managed to navigate around the downed electrical wires.
Dane recalled rushing home from work and being approached by a woman who identified herself as Corgan’s assistant.
Rather than apologizing, Dane said she asked him to respect the rocker’s privacy.
“What a d–k,” Dane recalled responding.
Dane said Corgan subsequently refused to trim the trees, prompting him to file a lawsuit. According to the actor, Corgan agreed to pay for the trimming a week before the case was scheduled to go to trial.
“I used to love that band. Now I can’t listen to them at all,” Dane wrote.
Dane admitted using testosterone and growth hormones to achieve his muscular physique while playing McSteamy on “Grey’s Anatomy.”
The actor wrote that he was disappointed by how thin he appeared in his first episode, despite working out with a personal trainer.
“I add testosterone and growth hormones to my routine,” he wrote.
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Dane emphasized that he worked with a licensed physician who monitored his hormone use through regular blood tests.
“I show up at work in the best shape of my life,” he wrote.
However, Dane said he later suffered a neck injury while working out, which led him back to prescription painkillers and renewed addiction struggles.
Dane recalled attending one of his daughter Billie’s ballet performances in 2025, when ALS had left him in a wheelchair and unable to move his arms.
The actor said he traditionally greeted Billie backstage with a hug after “The Nutcracker,” but realized he had unknowingly given her their last hug months earlier.
When Billie embraced him backstage, Dane said they both began crying.
“I can’t lift my arms anymore,” he told her.
The moment also prompted Dane to express anger toward God over his disease.
“I will not ask for your forgiveness,” he wrote. “You should ask for mine.”
Dane also addressed the milestones he expected to miss in the lives of his daughters, Billie and Georgia.
“I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t be around for your weddings,” he wrote. “I won’t be able to walk you down the aisle.”
He also warned his daughters about pursuing careers in Hollywood.
“If you can stay out of show business, that would be ideal, and emotionally healthy,” he wrote.
Dane detailed his reckless early years in Hollywood, including an incident in which he fired a shotgun from a moving car while under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
The actor recalled riding through Hollywood with longtime friend Balthazar Getty and another man he called Hunter, who owned a 12-gauge shotgun.
Dane said he grabbed the weapon, rolled down the back window and began firing above the buildings.
“We’re high and drunk and screaming and laughing,” he wrote.
In a separate incident, Dane said he and his friends were chased by an armed driver after using a car’s public-address system to impersonate police officers and mock the man for littering.
“He’s shooting at us!” Getty exclaimed, according to Dane’s account.
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Dane said his addiction eventually became so severe that Getty and their friend Shon Greenblatt intervened.
In 1997, after discovering that Dane had stolen syringes from an emergency room and was preparing to use heroin at home, the two friends persuaded him to return to the hospital.
Dane recalled escaping the hospital in a gown and jumping into his friends’ car.
“Get me the f— out of here,” he told them.
Instead of taking him home, his friends brought him to a mental health facility, where he was placed on a 72-hour involuntary psychiatric hold.
Dane later entered treatment, admitting to his doctors, “I’m a drug addict.”
He subsequently spent 88 days at a state-sponsored treatment center in Pasadena, California.
Dane revealed that doctors initially believed he had a treatable neurological disorder before diagnosing him with ALS.
The actor said he first noticed symptoms in January 2024, when he struggled to use chopsticks. After months of testing, doctors concluded he had multifocal motor neuropathy, a rare autoimmune disorder.
However, treatment failed to improve his symptoms.
“It didn’t work,” Dane wrote. “I didn’t respond to the treatment.”
On Nov. 21, 2024, Dane was diagnosed with ALS. He recalled calling Rebecca Gayheart to share the news.
“It’s what we feared,” he told her.

