Kelsey Grammer has seen his share of tragedy in his life, but it was one moment of unspeakable loss that nearly broke his faith in God.
The Emmy-winning “Frasier” star opened up about the spiritual toll he endured after the brutal murder of his sister Karen in 1975.
Grammer penned a memoir, “Karen: A Brother Remembers” to honor the life of his sister and told Fox News Digital how his latest project restored his faith in God.
KELSEY GRAMMER FINDS ‘CLOSURE’ AFTER SISTER WAS BRUTALLY MURDERED: ‘DEEPLY TROUBLING’
“When the deaths occurred, starting with my grandfather, and then my dad — and I didn’t really know my dad — and then when Karen was killed, hanging on to what I’d always seen as a kind of gift of faith, became … hollow faith,” Grammer explained.
“It wasn’t working. I thought, ‘Why did I lose this? What happened?’ I felt betrayed by it. And, so, I sort of cursed God at one point and said, ‘You know, hey, I’d rather you didn’t bother to help at this point because, honestly, this was colossal. I’m not interested.'”
In Grammer’s memoir, “Karen,” he recounted the deeply personal and tragic story of his late sister, who was murdered at the age of 18. He was just 20 years old and studying theater at Juilliard in New York when his younger sister, a recent high school graduate, moved to Colorado Springs.
She was kidnapped by several men who had intended to rob a Red Lobster where she worked. They instead kidnapped Karen, raped her repeatedly and ultimately stabbed her to death.
In 1976, Freddie Glenn was convicted of killing Karen Grammer and two other victims from the previous year. The Supreme Court ruled Glenn could seek parole after 30 years, but the sitcom star has twice helped block Glenn’s attempts at parole as justice for his sister and the other victims’ families.
“He just thinks it’s been long enough and, so, when do I get out of prison? So, when am I done with mine then? Because I’m still stuck,” Grammer told Fox News Digital. “And although this book has helped release a great deal of that feeling, there is a kind of … well, ‘We’re in this together, Freddie, you and me.’ And … if I don’t get free, you’re not either.”
At a parole hearing in 2009, Grammer wrote a letter to the court that said, “She was my best friend and the best person I knew. She had so much to live for. I loved my sister, Karen. I miss her. I miss her in my bones.
“I was her big brother. I was supposed to protect her — I could not. I have never gotten over it. … It very nearly destroyed me.”
Before his sister’s death, the 70-year-old star first experienced loss at the age of 13 when his father was shot and killed during a home invasion. After the death of Karen, Grammer’s two half-brothers, Stephen and Billy, died in a scuba diving accident in the Virgin Islands.
Grammer admitted he turned away from God in his darkest moments, but he encouraged others to do the opposite.
“I would advise people to step away from that. If I could, I would say, rather than turn away from God, turn toward Him in these situations,” he told Fox News Digital. “Because it doesn’t [mean] God’s out to get you. But it feels like that sometimes. And that was very hard.”
Although that sense of brokenness followed Grammer for years, his faith slowly began to mend through love and family.
“By virtue of writing this book, [my faith] has gained a little ground. By virtue of meeting Kayte, by virtue of living through what we’ve lived through as well, has fortified my faith,” Grammer said, referring to wife Kayte Walsh.
The couple share three children and named their first daughter Faith.
Grammer has continued to find peace through reflection, especially when he wrote his memoir, “Karen: A Brother Remembers.”
The “Cheers” star told Fox News Digital what inspired him to write this memoir 50 years after his sister’s death.
“I was instructed through a medium that Karen wanted me to tell her story. … I had a session with her in which she brought me Karen’s wishes,” Grammer said.
‘FRASIER’ STAR KELSEY GRAMMER FORGIVES HIS SISTER’S KILLER BUT WON’T ‘ADVOCATE FOR HIS FREEDOM’
“I’m very, very happy with the book. I’m happy that I did it. I feel lighter that I actually was able to accomplish it because I carried around a lot of woe, a lot of grief.”
In his memoir, Grammer recounted the memories of his sister and how her loss affected him and his family. As Grammer courageously confronted the pain of losing a loved one to senseless violence, he celebrated his late sister’s life in the most profound way.
When Fox News Digital asked Grammer one memory that stood out to him and brought him comfort when he thought about Karen, he shared an emotional moment when he bonded with his beloved sister at a young age.
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“That’s one thing I say … she was an Oreo cookie dipped in ice-cold Coca-Cola. I think of that moment. … There was a moment when we were sitting there. … We were both sitting on a green couch in our living room in Florida, and then she thought she would dip an Oreo cookie in Coca-Cola. … It was fantastic.”
In the end, Grammer didn’t speak of closure as a destination but as a quiet shift in the way grief and love coexist.
“I don’t think closure is possible when you’ve suffered a tragic loss in your life. The look for me of closure would be that, somewhere between the grief that is constant and is sometimes as alive as the moment it first took place, will be balanced in time by a fondness for the person that you loved and a memory that will at least stand face to face on the same level as the grief does.”
“Karen: A Brother Remembers” is available everywhere books are sold.
