Charlie Sheen is pulling back the curtain on his spiral into addiction at the peak of his career.
Sheen, who is opening up about his life in a memoir and upcoming documentary, explained what led him to a life of hard partying in a new interview.
“There was always that voice of doubt – that it was only a matter of time before it all went away – so to enjoy it as heartily as you can,” he told People.
CHARLIE SHEEN ADMITS HE ‘LIT THE FUSE’ THAT BLEW HIS LIFE APART AS TURBULENT PAST RESURFACES
Sheen said that he dabbled in many drugs, including crack, opiates and heroin. The “Two and a Half Men” star admitted it’s a miracle that he’s alive today – he experienced one overdose in 1998 and another close call, noting he kept strict party rules.
“At my parties, I always said, ‘Park your judgment at the door. No pain in the bedroom. And no one can die,’” he told the outlet. “Those were good rules.”
Eventually, he chose to get sober.
“You have to be willing,” he explained. For Sheen, it was about fulfilling his role as a father to his four kids – Sami, Lola, Max and Bob.
As he explained, he had actually given up drugs before his decision to quit drinking. “Whether it’s true or not, I like to think the next hit would kill me,” Sheen said.
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The “Wall Street” star explained how he keeps himself from having a drink.
“I keep a [mental list] of the worst, most shameful things I’ve done, and I can look at that in my head if I feel like having a drink,” Sheen noted.
Although he’s made amends with the people he hurt in life, Sheen is still working on forgiving himself for his shameful past.
“Forgiveness is still an evolving thing,” he told the outlet. “I still get what I call the ‘shame shivers.’ These are the moments that hit me, of the heinous memories and choices and consequences. They’re getting farther in between, so I guess that’s progress. What has been interesting about making amends is that most people have been like, ‘Hey yeah, we’re good man, but we hope you’ve also forgiven yourself.’”
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Sheen admitted he “lit the fuse” that blew his life apart in the early 2000s in the trailer for the upcoming Netflix documentary, “aka Charlie Sheen.”
“When you got a lot of shame about a lot of stuff… shame is, shame is suffocating,” Sheen explained in the trailer. “I lit the fuse, and, you know, my life turns into everything it wasn’t supposed to be.”
The documentary will feature prominent people in Sheen’s life, including ex-wives Denise Richards and Brooke Mueller, and “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre and his former co-star Jon Cryer.
