Chappell Roan was destined to be a star, but her meteoric rise to fame came at a cost to her mental health.
The “Pink Pony Club” singer, who has a slew of songs on the US Hot 100 charts one year to the day of the release of her debut studio album, “The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess,” admitted she was recently diagnosed with severe depression.
“I’m in therapy twice a week,” Roan told The Guardian. “I went to a psychiatrist last week because I was like, ‘I don’t know what’s going on.’ She diagnosed me with severe depression – which I didn’t think I had because I’m not actually sad. But I have every symptom of someone who’s severely depressed.”
CHAPPELL ROAN CALLS OUT ‘ABUSIVE’ SIDE OF FAME, THREATENS TO QUIT MUSIC IF IT GETS TOO ‘DANGEROUS’
Roan, who’s full name is Kayleigh Rose Amstutz, admitted she has brain fog, forgetfulness, poor focus, and “a very lackluster viewpoint.”
“I think it’s because my whole life has changed,” she said. “Everything that I really love to do now comes with baggage.”
POP STAR CHAPPELL ROAN ACCUSES FANS OF STALKING, HARASSMENT IN SCATHING VIDEOS
She added, “If I want to go thrifting, I have to book security and prepare myself that this is not going to be normal. Going to the park, pilates, yoga – how do I do this in a safe way where I’m not going to be stalked or harassed?”
Last month, Roan went viral for telling off an overzealous photographer on the MTV VMA’s red carpet.
WATCH: CHAPPELL ROAN YELLS AT PHOTOGRAPHER ON MTV VMAS RED CARPET
“I’m very turned off by the celebrity of it all,” she said. “Some girls have been in this so long that they’re used to that, but I’m not that girl. I’m not gonna be a sweetie pie to a man who’s telling me to shut the f— up.”
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While she’s aware some of her fans aren’t interested in that dialogue, she won’t stop speaking her truth. “They think I’m complaining about my success,” she said. “I’m complaining about being abused.”
Her sadness, though, can feel consuming.
“Every time I walk through my front door, it just comes out of me,” she said. “I can’t even help it, I just start sobbing and either being so angry at myself for choosing this path, or grieving how the curiosity and pure wonder I had about the world is somewhat taken away from me.”
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Roan noted some stars have checked in on her.
“I was warned that it’s going to feel like going through puberty again – my body does feel different,” she said. “It’s holding tension in a very different way: I have all these new emotions and I’m really confused. It’s how it felt to be 12.
“I look at [Lady] Gaga and even Sabrina [Carpenter] and Lana [Del Rey] – when I see them going out in public, I can’t even imagine how much they’ve had to prepare for that.”
The “Good Luck, Babe!” singer previously accused some fans of stalking, harassment and “predatory behavior” in scathing social media posts.
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“For the past 10 years l’ve been going nonstop to build my project and it’s come to the point that I need to draw lines and set boundaries. I want to be an artist for a very very long time,” she wrote.
“I just need to lay it out and remind you, women don’t owe you s—. I chose this career path because I love music and art and honoring my inner child, I do not accept harassment of any kind because I chose this path, nor do I deserve it.”
She added, “Please stop touching me. Please stop being weird to my family and friends. Please stop assuming things about me. There is always more to the story & I am scared and tired. And please don’t call me Kayleigh,” she added, as she referred to her legal first name. “I feel more love than I ever have in my life. I feel the most unsafe I have ever felt in my life.”
