Ina Garten is a warrior inside and outside the kitchen, sharing the battle wounds she walked away with as a child.
“I think I overcame my childhood just by sheer determination,” Garten told People magazine ahead of the release of her memoir. “I had two different lives. I had a life at home, and I had a great life at school.”
She described her early life as a “dichotomy” between bad and good.
Garten was raised by her mother and father, Florence and Charles Rosenberg, the latter a surgeon in Stamford, Connecticut. Garten explained she “was terrified,” worrying that if she ever did something her father didn’t approve of, he’d pull her hair or kick her.
“I literally remember thinking he would kill me if I did something,” she said. “So, I was physically afraid of him.
“My father was difficult with my brother and me,” she added of being raised in the ’50s. “It was a different time. It wasn’t the time of ‘helicopter parents’ and people fostering their children’s inner feelings.
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“My father used to say, ‘Being a parent isn’t a popularity contest,’ which was to justify that what he wanted us to do, we should do. With no questions. … Not even looking at what the child wanted to do. It was, ‘We should do what he wanted us to do.’ And I just — that’s not the way I’m built. I like to do what I want to do. And so I think that made it really difficult.”
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Garten says she found herself retreating to her bedroom to shield herself from harm.
“If there’s a threat of violence, you’re always afraid, even when it’s not happening. So, I basically spent my entire childhood in my bedroom with a door closed,” she admitted to the outlet. “I think it was just protection. It was just to keep myself safe. And so I had a very lonely childhood.”
Garten said she didn’t have support from her mother either.
“I think when I look back at my mom, I think she did the best she could. She really didn’t know how to have a relationship,” she told People. “Which is why, I think, as I’ve gotten older, having relationships is so important to me. I think she didn’t want me to cook because she didn’t want me in her space. She wanted me away from her, and so, again, my room was a safe haven.”
Although a revered cook, Garten has said previously she wasn’t allowed to cook as a child.
But she persevered, meeting her beloved husband, Jeffrey Garten, when she was only 15 years old and establishing her Barefoot Contessa brand in 1978 after buying a food store with that name. In 2002, she secured a Food Network show with the same name and is known for her recipes.
“I think, a lot of times, people make a decision to live their lives differently, and they end up sliding back into what they feel is familiar. And I was determined not to do that. And then I met Jeffrey, and he just showed me a totally different way to live,” she told the outlet.
Garten has been candid about reestablishing a relationship with her father. In June, she shared a photo on her Instagram from her wedding day.
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“My dad and I had a complicated relationship when I was young, but once I got married, we were able to change that,” she wrote. “I’m really grateful for the positive happy times that we spent together, and thinking back, he had a huge influence on my life. I think that we’re very much alike. He loved parties, loved his work, treasured his friends and cared about style. Happy Father’s Day, it’s a good day to celebrate fathers’ present and past.”
Garten told People she “made peace” with her father “because he did one thing. He, in his own way, apologized. And my mom never acknowledged it.”
Her book, “Be Ready When the Luck Begins,” is available Oct. 1.
